By Popular Demand

Don’t you just love when girls complain about how their boyfriends wont pay attention to them or how they talk to too many girls and are cheating assholes……….I do. I do because it’s the best opportunity to tell that girl that she is an idiot and here is why: First question you ask is where did you meet him ? The answer 9 times out of 10 is a bar or a club. Okay so let me get this straight you picked up this guy in a place where he goes every weekend with his guy friends to pick up chicks, get laid and never talk to them again and you thought he was going to be faithful ? Yeah it makes perfect sense to me thats like going to six flags and saying I am only going to ride one roller coaster because one is enough fun for me, you may be his favorite ride, but he is going to want to try out the others too because it is more fun. It’s like girls saying I want a nice guy , but all I can find are assholes. First off every guy knows a girl doesn’t want a nice guy so most of us act like assholes to get you and the girls who like assholes are usually insecure skanks. So lets do the math If an asshole likes you then you are probably an insecure skank because if he didn’t think you were easy then he would just move on because not putting in effort is an asshole thing to do get it? So instead of complaining about guys you should probably focus on yourself and where you pick the guys up at. 

It’s that time of year again where every girl is rushing to get in shape a few weeks before summer. Almost every girls status says something like: ” my diet starts tomorrow ” , ” hitting the gym” , something about them complaining that they are fat. Most girls that say they are fat are actually really skinny and pretty , but want people to compliment them because they are insecure with themselves. Here is my advice for all of you annoying girls complaining, if you were more concerned about how you are going to look for the beach 6 months ago and actually put time and effort into getting in shape then maybe you wouldn’t hate yourself right now. Let’s face it most of the girls who do complain drank all winter and the only exercise they got was walking from bar to bar and opening their legs to the first guy who bought them a drink. Sitting on your couch eating ice cream and watching your lame shows about how people fall in love in 3 weeks isn’t going to get you ready for the beach. So instead of complaining about it do something about it , but let’s face it some of you are going to need more than just a gym to look good in a bathing suit.

Every guy does it, we all get drunk and buy girls 10 dollar drinks at the bar in hopes to get some by the end of the night even though it does work on some girls others are obviously just in it for the free drinks. Girls I know that you only earn .75 cents to our dollar , but that is our hard earned money, we don’ have daddy trying to buy our love by giving us money and a rent free apartment downtown. So here is my reasons why I don’t buy sluts drinks.

1. If they are really that slutty they will probably sleep with you anyways. 

2. I can think of a million other things to spend 50 dollars on that wont lead me to the clinic the next day. 

3. You are just boosting their ego’s. Most slutty girls already think they are 10s when they are 6s at best so by buying them drinks you are making them think they are hot and giving them a more bitchy attitude. 

4. You are basically saying hey I am either A. an ATM for you and your friends to use or B. someone who later down the road wont be wearing the pants in the relationship.

5. Us guys need to get drunk too how do you think we get enough courage to sleep with you girls in the first place. The more alcohol we drink the better you girls look to us so that should boost your egos enough, until we don’t call you ever. Thats how we stay on top in society. 

- It is not wrong to buy girls drinks if you are on an actual date or are good friends with the girl. It is good to be nice to people who actually deserve it not some slut in a bar. 

Nothing makes me laugh more then seeing girls in action at the bar. They will pretty much do anything to get those free drinks all night and guys that are willing to pay for them are idiots. If you have to buy girls alcohol to get with them you should probably work on your game. The only thing most girls have going for them in society is they get to drink for free just so they can be degraded and used by men. I do not feel sorry for any of these girls one bit no one made you dress like a slut and act like a whore at the bar, then you think you are going to get treated with respect after the fact hahahahahaha. If you have to get wasted and whore around because you are an insecure bitch with daddy issues then you have no right to complain to everyone about how you can’t find the right guy and every guy is an asshole then maybe you should look in the mirror and realize that you are the problem. Most girls walk around expecting guys to buy them drinks and tell them they are hot to higher their ego and self esteem. Well ladies guys lie to you and buy you drinks cause they want to fuck you end of story. At the bar they will tell you ” you’re so beautiful” ” you’re the prettiest girl here” , don’t get me wrong I am sure that they think you are hot enough to bang because they are drunk or you were their last resort. Stuck up girls are the ones who are the most insecure yet guys play on those insecurities to get what they want it’s as simple as that. I think it is funny when guys flash money around at the bar and get no where with them. I was at a bar in Chicago this weekend when I saw a guy approach a girl and the girl said ” Are you going to buy me a drink or what ? ” The guy replied with ” hell yeah I have lots of money” now lets stop right there. One thing you should never say to a girl in a bar other than you are fat is ” I have lots of money”. Her eyes lit up like daddy bough her a Mercedes on her birthday. I laughed and watched the guy get no where with her. I also think it is funny to watch girls dance on the bar. If you are hot it is okay, If you are not guys are thinking three things 1. I hope she starts stripping. 2. Yes an easy girl I will be banging later. 3. I hope she face plants off the bar. So if you are sick of not finding the right guy maybe you should try being independent buy your own drinks, don’t dress slutty and act stuck up look hot , but be a challenge. O and btw even if you do do that chances are you still will find an asshole because lets face it we are guys and thats what we do. 

Creative Business Cards : )

Girls get drunk because they are all insecure and so that they can use the:  ”that doesn’t make me a whore excuse” in the morning. They get there in the first place because girls love assholes so all us guys have to do is to be a complete… dick to you girls, until we have you eating out of the palm of our hands, then we act all nice and charming so that you date us because we all know girls don’t really want an asshole. We will then not text you for a few days, you guys go crazy and then try to play stupid games that every guy knows. You will then cheat on us because you’re all insecure and need constant attention. Then you girls will come crying back when the guy you cheated with turns out to be a bigger asshole than the first guy and the cycle repeats.

1. Chrysler 200 ( very well done in terms of advertising ) 

2. Bud Light Kitchen remodel

3. VW Darth Vader 

4. Teleflora flowers- Girl Your rack is unreal 

5. E-Trade

I also liked the Dorito finger lick commercial and thought that the Chevy Cruise facebook was clever.

* I am shocked that All State didn’t have a ” mayhem ” commercial. Also, Miller Liter and Old Spice did not advertise at all. Maybe it was done on purpose because It has the consumer thinking about their brand and thats what good advertising does. 

Have you ever been walking down the street and you see a couple and then ask yourself: how did that guy get that girl? I see this a lot, where a girl who is obviously a 9-10 (on the hotness scale)  is dating a guy who is under 5 and here is my theory to this phenomenon: 99.9% of girls are insecure with themselves in some way and most girls have dated an asshole guy cause lets face it most guys act like assholes to pick up girls, so they date ugly guys for one reason they are safe . This means that the hot girl will date an ugly nice guy because she knows that the guy will treat her good and buy her the things that she wants. They also date an ugly guy because she knows that she is the best that guy will ever get therefore; she will never get cheated on or hurt. It gives the girl control in the relationship, so she can play puppet master and get what she wants. This is just my opinion, but I think its bullshit that girls downgrade themselves. Have some self confidence and take a risk for once in your life, don’t just settle. Everyone gets hurt thats apart of life, deal with it. The only good thing that comes out of these kind of relationships is that the girl will usually cheat on the guy and you can be the guy she cheats on him with. Don’t worry you wont be ruining a relationship because the guy can’t get any better so he will stay with her. 

No particular order.

1. Girls with mustaches.

2. Poor tooth to gum ratio.

3. Tree trunk legs. ( this is where the leg is pretty much the same size all the way up )

4. Pepperoni nipples.

5. Muffin tops. 

6. Where the toe next to the big toe is longer than the big toe.

7. Cigarette breath. 

8. Cellulite behind the bum.

9. Smelly Va J J.

10. Girls with boyfriends. 

My name is Austin and I will offend a lot of people in this blog.